Sunday, January 20, 2008

Sledging in Cricket

The Prasad Vs Sohail Incident: Hero to Zero in 3 easy steps
Chasing India’s score of 287-8, Pakistan got off to a flyer of a start, Aamir Sohail and Saeed Anwar went about tearing the Indian bowling attack. Pakistan looked all set to win as they reached 110 odd for the loss of just 1 wicket within the 15 overs.

1. Play a Great Shot: Aamir Sohail was completely bent on demolishing the Indian bowling to pieces, charging down the track to the faster bowlers (if u can call Prasad that) in this particular case he came down the ground (a good 4-5 steps, anymore and he would have hit Prasad too) and slashed the bowl over vacant off side area… the ball disappeared into the fence in a flash … what followed has since been etched in the memories of every cricket fan in the subcontinent.

2. Act Over smart: Aamir Sohail is no Miandad. But he tries to be and fails miserably. Sohail after hitting the shot pointed his bat the area where the bowl had disappeared and then towards Prasad apparently gesturing where he will send the next one.
It’s not everyday that you see a batsman sledging the bowler, and Sohail was about to learn just why.

3. Get what you called for: Sohail attempting to repeat the shot (albeit with his feet stuck to the ground this time) made room and exposed his stumps, and his weakness, and in return lost his wicket and his face.

As the wicket lay uprooted, Prasad returned the favour to Sohail, pointing to the pavilion this time.

The comeback was truly remarkable, almost a miracle. Prasad has bowled thousands of deliveries and taken hundreds of wickets in his career but, it was this one granted him a place in the History of Indian Cricket… for ever… the ghost of Miandad’s last ball six was exorcised, once and for all.

Steve Waugh Vs Curtly Ambrose Episode
It really does not get any bigger than this, the two legends of cricket came face to face, literally and engrossed in a verbal duel in a test match in Trinidad. All the juicy details were not to be known until Steve Waugh came out with his autobiography.

Ambrose repeatedly stared Waugh down during a searing spell, and Waugh, who sized up the towering Ambrose, said: “What the fuck are you looking at?”

Ambrose was stunned because, as Waugh says (in his Autobiography), “no one had ever been stupid enough” to speak to him like that.

Ambrose replied, “Don’t cuss me, man”, before Waugh’s response, which had nothing to do with bowling.

“Unfortunately, nothing inventive or witty came to mind, rather another piece of personal abuse: ‘Why don’t you go and get fucked.’ “

The Windies skipper Richie Richardson had a hard time keeping Ambrose from hurting the Aussie.

McGrath Vs Brandes

In a showdown of best pacers of two countries, Brandes made up for his complete absence of batting skills by some displaying some great sense of humor and presence of mind. Aussie paceman Glenn McGrath was bowling to Zimbabwe number 11 Eddo Brandes - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: “Why are you so fat?” Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: “Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit.” Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.

Viv Richards v Greg Thomas

This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset. Glamorgan quickie Greg Thomas had beaten Viv Richards’ bat a couple of times and informed the legendary West Indian ace: “It’s red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering.”

The very next ball was given the King Viv treatment and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: “Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it.”

Merv Hughes and Viv Richards

Merv Hughes usually never short of a word while on the field, rarely keeps quite. During a test match in the West Indies Hughes didn’t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. “This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me? In my culture we just bowl.” Merv didn’t reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: “In my culture we just say fuck off”

Sachin Tendulkar Vs Abdul Qadir

The year was 1989 the little master had recently made his debut in Pakistan. Sachin not even old enough to get a driving license Sachin Tendulkar was facing the best bowlers in the business. As the Pakistani crowds jeered and mocked holding out the placards saying “”Dudh Pita Bachcha …ghar jaake dudh pee”, (hey kid, go home and drink milk), Sachin sent the then young leg spinner Mustaq Ahmed hiding for cover (he had hit two sixes in one over. The frustrated mentor of Mustaq Ahmed the legendary Abdul Qadir challenges Sachin saying “Bachchon ko kyon mar rahe ho? Hamein bhi maar ke dikhao ` (Why are you hitting kids? Try and hit me).

Sachin was silent, since then we all have come to know that he lets his bat do the talking. Abdul Quadir had made a simple request and Sachin obliged, and how. Sachin hit 4 sixes in the over, making the spinner look the kid in the contest. The over read 6, 0, 4, 6 6 6, David had felled Goliath … and a legend was born.

Ian Healy Vs Ranatunga

Ian Healy’s made a legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney… “You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat cunt!”

McGrath Vs Ramnaresh Sarwan
Sarwan, the West Indies vice-captain, and McGrath went toe-to-toe in an ugly shouting match in Antigua in May 2003, The incident was sparked after Sarwan, on his way to a match-winning second-innings century, reportedly reacted to lurid taunts from McGrath by telling him he should get the answers from his wife, who was recovering from radiation therapy for secondary cancer.

The details:
McGrath: “So what does Brian Lara’s dick taste like?”
Sarwan: “I don’t know. Ask your wife. “
McGrath (losing it): “If you ever fucking mention my wife again, I’ll fucking rip your fucking throat out.”

Mark Waugh Vs Adam Parore
Mark Waugh was standing at second slip, Adam Parore relatively new to cricket came to the crease played and; missed the first ball.
Mark Waugh- “Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then, you’re fucking useless now”.
Parore- (Turning around) “Yeah, that’s me and when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly shit and now I hear you’ve married her. You dumb cunt.”

Ravi Shastri Vs Mike Whitney
Its common knowledge that Indian’s usually don’t resort to sledging, and the Aussies swear by it. In this rare occasion the tables had turned and it was the Aussies who were at the receiving end.
Shastri hits the ball towards Mike Whitney (the 12th man in the game) and looks for a single, this guy gets the ball in and says
Whitney: “If you leave the crease I’ll break your fucking head”
Shastri didn’t bat an eyelid before replying: “If you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn’t be the fucking 12th man”

Merv Hughes Vs Cronje
Merv Hughes was one of the greatest exponents of the fine “art” of sledging. Once during a tour game in South Africa Hughes was bowling to Hansie Cronje. It was an especially flat wicket and Cronje was hitting Hughes for fours and sixes all over the place.
After the umpteenth boundary, Hughes headed down the pitch, stood near Cronje, let out a fart and said: “Try hitting that for six.” It was five minutes before the guffawing stopped and play could resume.

Robin Smith Vs Merv Hughes
During 1989 Lords Test, Merv Hughes said to Robin Smith after he played and missed: ” You can’t fucking bat”. Smith replied, both with the bat and with words, he smashed Hughes to the boundary and said ” Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t fucking bat and you can’t fucking bowl ”

Team mates Sledging
England were playing Pakistan and, at what turned out to be a crucial moment later on, Frank Tyson managed to get an outside edge off a Pakistani batsman after the batsman had been frustrating them on a hot sweaty day. The ball went right through the hands of Raman Subba Rao who was standing in first slip and through his legs. After the over Raman heads over to the bowler and says, “Sorry Frank, I should’ve closed my legs.” Frank Tyson, who didn’t find any of this amusing, quipped back, “No, you bastard, your mother should have.”

Hughes Vs Miandad
The inimitable Merv Hughes has forgotten more about sledging than most people will ever know, so he was more than a little miffed to be on the receiving end in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan. Hughes and Javed Miandad almost came to blows after the Pakistani batsman dared to call big Merv a “fat bus conductor”. But revenge was sweet for Hughes. A few balls later he finally got his man and as Miandad walked past, he could not resist shouting “Tickets, please!”

Flintoff Vs Tino Best
Best, never short of a word or two when he is bowling, was done up like a kipper by the England all-rounder as West Indies slumped to defeat in the first Test. Flintoff saw his opponent preparing to face Giles’ off-spin and shouted: “Watch the windows, Tino!” The wind-up had the desired effect, causing Best to come charging out of his crease like a man possessed. He took a wild swing at the ball, missed and was promptly stumped by Geraint Jones. Not a broken window in sight. Flintoff could not contain himself and spent the next five minutes giggling like a teenager, as Best sat on the balcony ruing his stupidity.

Viv Richards to Gavaskar
Gavaskar had decided to relinquish his opening position and come in at no 4 for that test. But, Malcolm Marshall fired out Anshuman Gaekwad and Dilip Vengsarkar for ducks, setting the stage for Gavaskar to walk in at 0/2.And he thought there would be less pressure! Viv Richards says “Man, it don’t matter where you come in to bat, the score is still zero.”

Steve Waugh Vs Parthiv Patel
Amidst all the hype surrounding his farewell match, Steve Waugh had to contend with an unexpected dose of his own medicine from a player half his age.
As Waugh fought a grim battle to stave off defeat in the series-deciding fourth Test in Sydney, 19 year-old Indian wicket-keeper Parthiv Patel tried to unsettle the veteran batsman through some banter.
The baby-faced Patel egged on the 38 year-old stalwart to play one of his sweep shots one last time.
The India ‘keeper was saying, ‘Come on, just one more of the famous slog-sweeps before you finish’
Waugh replied: ‘Look, show a bit of respect. You were in nappies when I debuted 18 years ago.”

Rod Marsh Vs Ian Botham
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: “So how’s your wife and my kids?”

Trueman and Aussie batsman
In an England v Australia Test during early 1960’s Trueman was fielding close to the gate from the pavilion. As a new batsman came out he turned to shut the gate, Trueman said “Don’t bother son, you won’t be out there long enough.”

Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. “Looks like you spent it eating.” Cullinan retorted.

Adam Parore and Daryll Cullinan
Because Cullinan is well known for being Warne’s bunny, New Zealand keeper Parore greeted the South African, carefully playing the first ball from kiwi Chris Harris, with a cry of: ” Bowled Warnie!”

Malcolm Marshall and David Boon
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: “Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”

James Ormond and Mark Waugh
James Ormond had just come out to bat on an Ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh “Fuck me, look who it is? Mate, what are you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for England “
James: “Maybe not, but at least I’m the best player in my family”

Waugh Vs Jamie Siddons
In a Sheffield Shield game between NSW and SA, a Waugh twin (not sure which) was taking an eternity to take guard, asking the umpire for centre, middle and leg, two legs - the whole lot. Then he steps away towards leg side and has another look around the field, before re checking centre.
Jamie Siddons is at slip, and decided enough is enough. He yells out. “For Christ sake, it’s not a fuckin test match”
Waugh replies: “Of course it isn’t … You’re here.”

Mother (in law) of all sledges
In the 1980’s Ian Botham returned early from a tour of Pakistan, and on radio joked “Pakistan is the sort of country to send your mother in-law to.” Needless to say the Pakistanis did not find this amusing, and when Pakistan defeated England in the 1992 World Cup Final, Aamer Sohail told Ian Botham ” Why don’t you send your mother-in-law out to play, she cannot do much worse.”

All Time Classic
Perhaps the most famous sledge in a World Cup match took place the epic Super Six clash between Australia and South Africa (in 2003). South Africa looked on course to a routine victory with Australian captain Steve Waugh at the crease and on 56. At that stage, Waugh clipped the ball in the air straight to South African fielder Herschelle Gibbs. In his haste, Gibbs dropped the ball when attempting to throw it in the air in celebration as he had not fully controlled it. As he passed him, Waugh is said to have asked Gibbs: “How does it feel to have dropped the World Cup?”. Waugh carried on to make an unbeaten 120 and Australia posted an unlikely win and won the World Cup a few days later.

Waugh has however denied that quote, instead claiming that he said “looks like you’ve dropped the match”.

Special one from the most laziest looking but a great batsman of all time
Inzamam-ul-Haq once told Brett Lee to “Stop bowling off spinners.”

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