Getting Married - funny

After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman
• There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it
• Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
• How Dogs and Women are alike?
Neither believe that silence is golden, neither can balance a checkbook,
and Both put too much value on kissing
• The world’s thinnest book has only one word written in it: Everything
and the book is titled: “What Woman Want!”
• A man who surrenders when he’s WRONG, is HONEST.
A man who surrenders when he’s NOT SURE, is WISE.
A man who surrenders when he’s RIGHT, is a HUSBAND
• Gal friends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there`s no choice
• Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
• Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
• There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he
would go thruogh hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru
hell.
• Ek aadmi apni biwi ki tadfeen karke ghar ja raha tha. Achanak bijli
chamki, badal garje, jor se barish start ho gayi.
Dukhi aadmi: Lagta hai pahunch gayi.
• On Jeeto’s bday Santa had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.
When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank
manager.
• Jitne channel TV ke, utne nakhre Biwi ke.
TV chalta remote se, Biwi chalti hai note se.
• Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
• Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offense!
• Life is a paradox-what u want u don’t get (love), what u get, u don’t
n joy(marriage), what u enjoy is not permanent(gal friend), what is permanent
is boring(wife)
• What men want: A woman who can cook, a woman who earns good money, a
woman who loves him & system to make sure that those 3 women never meet
each other!
• Lady 2 her maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.”
Kanta : I don’t believe it! U r just saying that 2 make me jealous!”