It's All About Wives

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong .

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
I asked her, “Where’s the car?”
She replied, “In the lake.”

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t like to interrupt her.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: “You can have mine.”

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says, Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I’m half dead.”

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.