Beautiful One Liners

• Easiest way to die:
1. Have a cigar daily - you will die10 years early.
2. Have drinks daily - you will die 30 years early.
3. But love someone truly - you will die daily!

• What would confuse a mentally challenged person?
Answer: A pineapple.
Confused…? I knew you would be!

• How to catch a squirrel?
Climb up a tree and just be yourself. Squirrels will come to you on their own. Because they just love NUTS !

• If you never want to see a man again, say: I love you, I want to marry you, I want to have children - they leave skid marks.

• Yeah, my husband and I just split up. I finally faced the fact that we’re incompatible. I’m a Virgo and he’s an a@@hole.

• Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.

• Santa declares: I’ll never marry in my life and I’ll give same advice to my children also.

• Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.

• I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she’s interested in, she said: Check books.

• The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.